It's Still a Vertical Month

Usually I am all out and gung-ho about vertical days and minutes. I acknowledged 1-11-11; however, I was not all that excited throughout the day. My mind was heavily focused on a big IEP meeting for a tough student of mine. I may have caught 11:11 a.m. during school that day. highlights were two simple emails sent by a co-worker that said "Have a won-derful day!" and from a friend, and a voice-mail message left at 12:12 wishing me a happy vertical day and minute!

Then I came home with my two lovely children, and decided to make something of the day. So we had hot chocolate and I used our vertical mug. Simon is old enough to take somewhat of a decent picture and then Dad came home to capture the rest. Vertical day ended well.

1-11-11

Do you get it?

Why no couch cushions covers, you ask? Well, that is because even though Norah subscribes to the fact that "Underwear is fun to wear; keep it dry!", she does not always keep it dry. She happened to have an accident while sitting smack dab in the middle of the couch. Literally, on the crack between the two cushions, which caused a quick stripping of the covers and off to the dry cleaners.

Skating on Thin Ice

Today after school, Simon bundled up to his nose with snowpants, coat, and multiple accessories. I slapped on Simon's ice-skates and he hobbled out the door to skate on the sidewalk. Yep, I said sidewalk. You see, snow then rain then falling temperatures then more snow resulted in the slush freezing to a sheet of ice. EVERYWHERE! Since it has been cold, we have had ice-walks for a few days now. If Simon was a more advanced skater, he could have actually skated around the block. Seriously, nobody's walks are clear, despite shoveling efforts! Shoveling seemed to have a worse effect. Norah cried because she wanted her skates. Somehow she forgot that she doesn't have skates. Her options? Stay inside or put on boots to play on the ice. She stopped crying and chose the boots. Simon lasted longer than I thought and did quite well. Norah does not last long outside. Her tiny hands get so cold, even with mittens. Hot cocoa upon returning inside was necessary. We warmed up, ate lunch, and he went back out for round 2, while Norah napped!

Even though . . . .

. . . . . I lived the first 15 years of my life in Green Bay, WI and 2 years of graduate school in Madison, WI, I will not drink out of my "W" cup anytime this week. No Wisconsin influence will be happening in this household! We proudly fly the Bears flag. Bears vs. Packers? GRRRRRR all the way! Bear down, Chicago Bears! We are after all, Monsters of the Midway! And the Midway is where we'll play (and win)!!

"but it is not working"

Simon immediately reads his prayer request in his prayer request box the second he goes to bed "Dear God, please let my heart to not feel so sad". Then sometimes he cries or sobs when going to bed at night. He repeats "I miss Grandpa. I didn't want Grandpa to die. I didn't want him to go to heaven". Tonight, when comforting him, I said as he was missing Grandpa that, that is why we are praying so hard. He said "but it is not working". Our hearts break for him.

On Monday, I took the kids to the library for new books just to get out of the house late in the afternoon before dinner. Only to find out our beloved Ms. Rachael (children's librarian who knows all kids by name), is leaving at the end of this week. And then Daddy had a meeting that night. Simon was hysterical. I think he thought that Dad might not come back; he asked if he was sleeping at the church and if he would see him in the morning. From approaching the library check-out counter to all the way home and for a little while at home and then again at bedtime he sobbed "I don't want Daddy to go. I don't want Ms. Rachael to leave. I didn't want Grandpa to die." Over and over, while hard crying. Too many things going on for his little head and big heart to handle. And he will dearly miss Ms. Rachael, she is the first person he asked a question to in the public environment. He will wait until he sees her to ask for a desired book,even though there are other librarians available to help. Norah will always grab a puppet and get Ms. Rachael to play - and usually get a hug. So the little guy is dealing with tough feelings right now. We just hug, hold, love, pray and help him through the best we can.

I think my grief is through him and his loss of a wonderful Grandpa.

Handmade Items

Well, besides the playhouse (with the fabric postcards), there were many other handmade gifts this past holiday season.

Pictured here are three hats made for two nieces and a nephew and slippers for the feet of my two kiddos. The bottom of Norah's slippers is the fabric with rubbery dots and the insides are lined with fleece.

Simon's snowman hat. He watched me make so many and said around Dec. 20th "Mommy, I really want a snowman hat." I caved and bought yarn in his favorite colors of blue and yellow. Being late in December, I had to work on it during the day with him around. He noticed and asked why I was making a hat in his favorite colors. Since it was "tis the season not to ask questions", I said that since I made a little girl hat for the Giving Tree at church, I should make one for a little boy. He responded by informing me that the Giving Tree was over. Sigh. He then exclaimed "I know, we can give it to the hat and mitten tree at my school". Whew, I was saved and could continue stitching and plan to wrap it up for him for Christmas. He got the coordinating scarf by New Year's Day (not pictured).

SLIPPERS, Warm and cozy. I feel fantastic when I find a project for my boy. So many patterns and materials are girlish. I enjoy a good project for him. Who loves the slippers more? Simon, I think because they feel like socks rather than a shoe or a hard-soled slipper.

Norah's hat on quite backwards. There is a HUGE flower you cannot see. I will post a better picture. I am currently working on a coordinating scarf for this hat. The problem with Norah? She has quite a few hats. It's not that she is a hat girl, she just happens to have a hat mother.

Two pillowcase pictures yet to be uploaded, but will come - to share with my fellow project-ers who read my blog!

Simon's Prayers and Norah's Questions

A while ago we told Simon that Grandpa was going to heaven soon, such unpleasant and unwelcome news for a 5 year old. He did not want that to happen. Simon prayed the following prayre for the last couple of weeks.

"Now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
Angels guide me through the night.
And wake me with the morning light.
Dear God,
Please let Grandpa NOT go to heaven.
Amen."

Then glared at me, like I could will that to happen. I quietly said "Dear God, please let my heart not feel so sad. Amen". And he repeated me. "Then God and Grandpa will be in my heart" Simon declared on his own.

He wrote his prayer request on a slip of paper,"Dear God, please help Grandpa feel better." and put it in his prayer box.

We visited Grandpa on 12/31/2010. Norah was unsure and uncomfortable. She said "I want out of here. I want to go home". We visited in the facility for only a few brief minutes, where we said "Grandpa, we love you", blew kisses and offered winks.

Eric and the kids delivered brunch to Grandma at home on 1/1/11. Before Norah's coat was off, she spilled out with "Is Grandpa home from the hostipal?" How perceptive are the little ones. I asked how Grandma and Grandpa's was when they returned. Simon stated "It's just Grandma's house; Grandpa is not there."

Grandpa passed away 1/2/11. We told Simon after lunch. He slumped his shoulders right away. He didn't want to be hugged or near us. He said "but I wanted Grandpa to feel better and go home". He really did not understand or like our response that Grandpa is ALL better and at home in heaven with God. He quickly stomped to his room and we heard "Dear God, please help Grandpa feel better." He asked "is Grandpa was in my heart now?"

Later that afternoon I saw him throwing his prayer request in the garbage. I asked if he wanted to keep it, and he stated he was done with it. But he wanted to write a new prayer request. I asked what he wanted to write and he said "Dear God, please help my heart not feel so sad. Amen".

Later that evening he asked Eric "Can I talk to God on the phone?"

Eric discussed prayer and talking to God, but it is harder to hear his answers.

Simon has stated a few times since then that "I can tell Grandma that Grandpa is in her heart".

I am sure there will be more questions and conversations to come.

I took Norah on my lap and told her that Grandpa died and went to heaven.
Norah: He sleeping?
Me: No
Norah: He at duh hostipal?
Me: No
Norah: He at home?
Me: No
Norah: Where he is? (asked with emphasis)
Me: In heaven
Norah: Where dat?

And then we were back to playing and talking about whatever passed her fancy.

Later that evening Norah kept asking "Grandpa dying?" and "Grandpa dying off?"

Such sweet and sad comments from our children dealing with big emotions and abstract thoughts.

We now pray that our hearts and Grandma's heart do not feel so sad and that Grandpa is happy with God in heaven. While we are sad and missing Grandpa, we are grateful that Grandpa is rejoicing and praising God in heaven.

Happy Vertical Year

Happy New Year to You All, a Vertical one at that!!!

So, to begin with, I hope you have a wonderful

May you accomplish all you resolve to do in the next 365 days!!!

For me, I think I will resolve to:

1. Work on my Halloween scrapbook. That way, every fall, we can look back at all the Halloween fun through the years. What a great way to document all the growing. I haven't started, but I have my orange album.

2. Work on my Christmas scrapbook. That way, every holiday season, we can look back at all the seasonal happenings through the years. What a great way to document all the joy. I haven't started yet, but I have my red album.

These will be great coffee table additions, when the coffe table is not for puzzles, fisher price nativity, games, and little toys.

And that is enough resolving for now. My personal growth and improvement resolution has yet to be determined.